This semester I am enrolled in a creative writing course…stop laughing, I’m serious. And, despite whatever preconceived notions you have about a creative writing course in seminary, this class has given me the opportunity to express many deep, theological convictions in ways previously foreign to me. One such opportunity came when our class was asked to reflect upon the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington D.C. Not having had the opportunity to visit this landmark, my thoughts focused instead on the idea of mourning loss. It was in my preparation for that writing assignment that I realized our society has lost the ability to grieve well. Throughout scripture mentioning of sackcloth and ashes, wailing, renting of clothing, and utter despair accompany bereavement. Now funerals exhibit starched clothing, manicured appearances, and hushed whimpers as we attempt to add dignity to suffering. It is my firm conviction that mourning plays a purposeful and redemptive role in the life of a believer (c.f. Ecclesiastes 7:4; and verses which speak on suffering, Romans 8:17 in particular) and we would be wise to follow in the footsteps of our spiritual ancestors who grieved openly, loudly, and genuinely. Rejoice with those who rejoice, but, please, remember to WEEP with those who WEEP.
Silent Grief by Nika Spaulding
Hurried tears and gentle sobs escape the young widow.
Induced smiles conceal the writhing hands of a bereaved mother.
Somebody lied to them, to us.
“Dignity emerges in restraint,” paralyzes their sorrow.
Etched names satisfy our need to commend.
But, who receives the honor?
Consideration killed grief.
Reverence excised wailing, but left a wall.
Silence replaced weeping
Sackcloth exchanged for starched suits
Where is your sting O Death?
We forgot how it feels.
2 comments:
So, what about the role of fellowship, or connection to others in the experience of mourning? Does private mourning do the trick? "Weep with those who weep..." I wonder whose responsibility is it to weep first? The one who has lost, or the friend/brother/sister of the one who has lost?
Glad to hear about your class. Sounds really cool... and what a great class for a teacher / communicator!
Hey Nicki,
You bring up great points and questions. I think private mourning can do the trick, but God calls us into community. How can we weep with others if we do not share in our suffering? Weeping was communal in the Old Testament, and I think we need should ask ourselves why we don't do that anymore.
And as far as responsibility goes, I believe we should love so deeply that when our brothers and sisters grieve our tears would fall freely. I think so many times during trials people looks to others for permission to grieve the way they feel they should. If a sister in Christ who has just lost a loved one looks into my face, I pray she will be met with misty eyes and and genuine compassion over her grief.
Love and miss you Nicki! Wish Norman and Dallas were just a stone's throw away.
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